We fill crystal goblets with the dregs of our fears and, together, we toast: “to Love.”
Listen. This is your space to hear and feel. Know this. Settle in to your skin. Feel the edges of your form. Then feel the edges of your aura. Now pull your attention inward. And feel your center. It does not matter where the center of you is. For some the center may be the little toe on the right foot. For some it is in the heart or closer to the throat or in the gut or in the left shoulder. It is the center of you. Feel the center of you. If the center of you will move itself then let it move itself. let it flow and watch its movement without worries or without judging or thinking it. Just let it move and feel its movement and feel the patterns that follow in its moving. The center of things is never one place only. The center of things is never one heart only. It is all places and hearts. It is the waves of everything. The center of things is the place where the World Tree roots itself into the beginnings, ends, and betweens of all times. The axis mundi. The center of the Worlds. Feel this in you.
Yes, as your attention settles into a space it may move. Laugh with this. Do not be frustrated or fearful as your center of motion shifts. Be everything at once.
Now feel the center of things expand. Feel the single shifting point grow in detail and expand like a little pinprint growing larger. This center expands out like a big ball that holds you in the middle of it, bouncing with each thought, with each breath. Moving you with it, up and down, and up and down. Isn’t this fun? You are a great bouncing ball! Watch the world outside you as you bounce throughout time and throughout space. Dip your toes in the swirls of water of the Oceans as you bounce off the waves. Hear the Stars sing to you as you bounce through the heavens. Feel the warmth of the Sun as you bounce off its rays, allowing your own inner Star to flare in recognition and gratitude. A great cosmic bouncing ball.
Now listen. Below you there is a beating. A drumming. A steady pulsing of slow, deep, drums. You feel this pulse outside you and suddenly, instantaneously, you feel it inside you as well. Steady, slow, pulsing. It vibrates in you like nothing you’d imagined. Your bouncing slows and the sphere around is drawn down, deep. Down where the beating becomes louder, echoing in your ears, pulling you into the body of Earth herself. Under Earth, in the crystalline structure below, you pulse, feeling yourself growing older, deeper, ancient. You begin to know the things of Stone. You feel the ages and cycles of Earths passed and yet to come in your bones as your bones slowly, so slowly remember they are Stone with the wisdom of all Creation in their structure. You are the skeleton of the Earth and the structure upon which all else is built. You are crystal, rock, sediment, and caves. You are the mountains that touch the sky. You carry the wisdom of ages in your bones. You are living, dynamic, pulsing. You are beating. You are drumming. You are Stone.
Now feel the drum-beat in your heart. At first it may feel like an echo as the vibration carries itself through you. Allow your heartbeat and the pulsing of the Stone to wrap around each other until they become one rhythm.
Now a wind moves over you and the slightest breath is whispered into your head. This breath, this blessing, touches your heart and as it does you are washed in the most verdant green you have ever imagined. Brighter than emeralds and deeper than forest canopies. As this green washes your heart it beats with greater life. Greater vitality. It beats with a solidity and purpose. And with each and every beat your heart expands, growing larger and larger. With each beat living, breathing vines grow in every direction. These tendrils grow out, reaching towards the world. They root in, reaching into Mystery. The grow in and out, up and down, reaching all directions at once, connecting the inner spaces to the outer spaces.
As these vines grow, like tributaries from a central spring, they entwine their green fingers around the fingers of those closest to them, reaching for each other. Connecting heart to heart. Green to Green. As these beautiful connections are made feel the original breath of wind in your hair pass through each vein of Green from one tendril to the next as we pass the blessing to each other, letting it grow, knowing we are intimately connected. Feel nourishment pass through these external roots, feeding the deepest connections within. Feel empathy for all Creation in the beating of Our heart. Be there now.
1 + 22 + 6 = 29
2 + 9 = 11
11 is the gateway. It is the place between the twin pillars. It is the mouth of the labyrinth that takes us deep into our inner spaces. It is the guardian at the threshold who holds the feather against our hearts and permits us passage. Let’s make a deal, It says, and we bargain our way out of our skins until we are ready to descend into the skies.
Today seems to be a master number day. A big dream day. A how do I get out of my way and let my Soul run the show day?
Last night I dreamed teaching a class on sacred symbolism. I saw the dancing line of 1 and the spherical dance of 0 as they held balance within each other.
1 is the marching of time. The linearity of the masculine thrust of forward motion. 0 is the holding of space. The whole that embraces. As we move into this new cycle time seems to embrace dimensionality and space collapses into itself. The 1s round themselves out into 0s and the 0s bend themselves into a fluidity of a moment
Time is movement through space. Moments are travel.
11 is the moment we enter the Soul’s possibility.
Today is: 1/15/2013
4 balances the creative energy of 3 and its potential is grounded, made useful, and becomes form. And so the symbol is squared/closed as potential energy is harnessed. Mother Earth.
Four is the beginnings of physical life itself and where actual manifestation occurs. The heart of humanity is born here. The foundation of the group mind and its empathic nexus routes exist within four.
The glue of things is its empathic connections. When I connect with you we create a nexus. And then you connect with another person, which creates another. Eventually all the hearts of humanity are linked in an interlocked pattern of empathic connection. This, then, is the human group-heart. The better known term is group mind but a deeper link is from the group heart. This grand palace with its many rooms looks rather like a three-dimensional and ever-rotating flower of life. Recall (please, no human hubris) humanity is only one layer of this multidimensional webbing and there are other layers of this interwoven pattern who may participate in a very different layer of being. Because each human heart is linked to the All we participate within the consensual reality “bubbles” closest to our heart’s immediate nexus. And so the human world with its rushing cars, financial anxieties, and the glimmers of a powerful seeding of something different, is the result of a shared dream held into place by this empathic grid.
It is the role of the dreamers, healers, rebels, and mystics to push the edges of that consensual reality bubble and stretch us to a more All space in which we recognize we are not separate beings existing in isolation. This is not accomplished by individual thoughts or actions only. It is through the connections in (and of) our Hearts. One person meditating alone is significant but our realm of Light changes as we cleanse our links with others.
There is a different kind of “yoga” that seems to be lost. The transcendent ideal of enlightenment in which the yogi ascends to formless Light is polarized by an equally powerful imminent ideal of enlightenment in which the adept fully imbues the physical body with the Soul’s Light (thereby transforming form). What goes up must come down and we must have both paths in balance. The secrets of this “other” path were guarded and encoded within the flesh of the Earth herself, shared symbolism, myth, and alchemy. On this path the seeker melds completely with the Light of the Mother and pulls the Light of our full Soul potential into the magical creative Earth here and now.
We are not fallen, diseased, nor original sin in flesh. Eve’s apple is not damnation but an encoded secret of a feminine (yin) Union. The Light of our Mother is not secondary but is in perfect balance with the Breath of our Father. We do not need to ascend from this place but may instead transform it as we kiss the soil of our Mother and become Light in form.
Today is: 1/8/2013
1+8+6 = 15
1+5 = 6
6 – The thrusting line wraps into itself as it instantly transforms into the feminine round. The music of family, dreams, and purposeful living exist within the six. This is the holding of the masculine seed within the feminine womb.
Six wants to wrap herself around everything and so she creates a sacred space in which to do this. She is all about making spaces and oh-pening spaces and dreaming spaces. She holds all her spaces in her embrace and is essentially the transcendent O in imminent form.
At 15ish I was diagnosed with a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder with full blown rituals, magical thinking, and mechanisms to manufacture control in my chaotic life. At the time this seemed profound, slightly exotic in a twisted around way, and a little bit catastrophic. My primary indicators of this “disease” were rituals with numbers: counting steps, calculating minutes, experiencing numbers as personalities with gender, preferences, and lives of their own. The symbolic reality of the numbers became as real (or more real!) than the supposedly concrete place in which I was operating as an extremely sensitive and rather oddball kid. I saw patterns in everything and deliberately massaged them into an order that made fundamental sense.
Even now I cannot look at a digital clock without rearranging the numbers into a balanced equation with significance. The numbers move of their own accord and I translate the seemingly temporal numbers into spatial forms.
Yes, I am a magical thinker. But the magic in which I think does not bend the rules of Nature but seeks to harmonize with Her. As without, so within… The patterns within patterns sing. I hear voices in the supposedly inanimate and the deep pathways of inner and outer worlds blend in a sacred geography of the Soul. Numbers are music, alternating between soothing chords and jangling disharmonies. There is dramatic and creative power in them and they underlay the structure of this world.
The internet is the physical manifestation of the larger group heart-mind. The tangled branches of the thoughts of the millions come together in a wild landscape of this, that, and the other.
It is brilliant. And terrifying.
One can find (nearly) anything on the internet!
Like the group heart-mind the brightest and the most (seemingly) fallen aspects of Creation are separated only by a clicking mouse and open eye.
When we send a word into this woven web of dream and desire it is as an offering to the beating of the group-Heart itself. As we send our deliberately constructed sentences into this symbolic landscape they become thought forms, the love-children of mind and emotion, who then grow lives of their own no longer coddled within the comfortable construct of inner space.
Carefully chosen “avatars” are emanations of ourselves. Photos of the physical form chopped, cropped, altered, and kissed as we click them out the door to represent us the best a reproduction of a facsimile possibly can. Our Avatars of liquid light are poured into the formless sea of the group-Heart to make their way among the millions.
The web becomes a great path of possibilities, entanglements, and a study in the ways of the group-heart. One local mind links to this other local mind to this larger group to this network and so on and on. And I, as a student of the greater Heart, participate warily, gently, and with the greatest curiosity.
Each breath is a commitment to this place, this world, this time, these people. Each breath is a commitment to Love.
And so I breathe.